The following guidelines can help keep workshops and private discussions safe and respectful for all:

• Confidentiality in all workshops.   No one's words, actions or emotions should be discussed outside the group in such a way that would identify that person.
• Speak from your own experience.   Use "I" statements, "I feel..." or "I think...."   Speaking in generalities or quoting "experts" can be a way of avoiding vulnerability or trying to arm your side with "bigger guns."
• Feel your feelings.   Notice your feelings and share them with the group if you want to or keep them private. Try not to worry or decide if they are good or bad, right or wrong.
• It's not necessary to voice disagreement or to try to disprove views different from your own. Our goal is to create a safe circle for sharing from the heart, not to wage debates or try to prove who's right or who's wrong.
• If disturbed by a comment you might say, "I felt uncomfortable when you said..."   Claim your feelings but don't try to make others feel bad if they don't share your views.
• Sometimes we don't want comforting at a moment of intense emotion. Well-meant words or stroking can stop the flow of feelings or the release of pain. It may be that we need to feel the pain at that moment (not well-intended, but distracting words of comfort). If in doubt, ask.